Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Peaceful Corner

Ways of Thinking  Positive - 2

Peaceful Corner.

 Appa, My father-in-law, was staying with me at Wai during his last few months.

In last few years he preferred to stay at Wai because it was very peaceful here. He stayed for variable periods and enjoyed the serenity. He was also contented with the company of his daughter. During his life he seldom had a chance to stay with her and now, it seemed, he was compensating for that whenever possible. Recently he had expressed a wish to die here.

And so he was here. Though he hated hospitals, he trusted me as a Doctor and probably felt safe to stay with me with my hospital facilities on the ground floor.

I had kept his bed in the corner of kitchen-cum-dining room. This way we could observe and take care of him easily. And he felt homely without the deadly feeling of being admitted in the hospital (or ghastly ICU where the patients feel that they are kept there to wait for death or, with all instruments and lines attached to their bodies they are being denied of the mercy of death).

For last two months, he was bedridden, unable to move on his own, probably in pain, totally dependent, with his memory failing and unable to speak except few words. He never complained. It was not his nature. But he was miserable. We could see it in his eyes. During whole of his life he had never expected anything and never asked of anything from anybody and now that he was bedridden he had to call us even for small things like water (let aside giving bedpan and cleaning). That made him more miserable.

Then, in spite of all care, he started to develop bed-sores. His condition started deteriorating. His lungs were congested and he was in distress intermittently.

He was in physical agony also during his last month. He groaned continuously during nights and days with intermittent periods of drowsiness, the only periods when he was calm.

Still he never complained. But we couldn’t see his condition. With him groaning next to us we couldn’t have food without feeling guilty. He was helpless and so were we. With no way back, and dead end ahead, we prayed for his death secretly in our minds.

Why anyone, who had helped so many people without expectation; had always wished all good things for others; had never hurt anybody in his life, accepted all ups and downs calmly and who had lived a simple and peaceful life without any complaint should suffer like this?  

Then one morning he was gasping. We were sitting around him holding his hands, my fingers on his pulse. With efforts and summoning all his strength he said a few words, “Sukhi raha” (be happy and contented). Then he went in stupor.

Such periods of ups and downs, with alternating periods of painful wakefulness, distressful drowsiness and semi-unconsciousness continued with increasing frequency and severity with increasing pain and distress. He died after fifteen days. God (if there is any), at last, was kind to him.

Next day we removed the bed from the kitchen, cleaned that corner and moved the dining table to its original place in that corner. Then I had a weird feeling. Despite temperament and training, our minds work irrationally. I thought, with this arrangement, we will dine everyday in the corner of agony and suffering.

Then suddenly my mind cleared. Why should I think like this? With his death the suffering has ended and he was at peace. So this corner has now become the Corner of Peace.

On the third day we went to the “Ghats” (Cremation place). There was a slight drizzle. The riverside was green. We collected the “Asthi” (bones) and washed the ashes. As per the custom we sprinkled “Go-mutra” and offered the flowers. Then we bestowed the collected bones in the river. I closed my eyes and prayed – You were calm and contented throughout your life. You suffered unreasonably for last months. But now may your “Aatma” (soul) dwell in peace – . 

I opened my eyes and saw a landscape of peace. The flowing water, riverside, green grass lawns covering the opposite bank, blue hills with dazzling green patches in the background and blue sky with some black clouds was a picture in all cool but lively shades of green and blue. I had seen the same landscape few seconds earlier (and many times before that). But now it was different.

Then the picture became hazy because my eyes were filled with tears. It was like a “Sakshatkar” (Awakening). I thought, he has given me a clear message that he was in peace.
It was His assurance. My mind also became calm. I realized once again, why should I worry …? I am LIVING in This 
Peaceful Corner in the world.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Krishna, Arjun, Horses and I

Ways of Thinking  Positive - 1


Krishna, Arjun, Horses and I


The day before Maha-Bharatiya War, Krishna came to me, his face worried and eyes almost to tears.
“What’s the matter?”
“Oh! Dr. Prabhune, save me. I am in a big trouble and I don’t know what to do.”
“Calm down and tell me. I will try to do whatever I can.”
“I don’t know what to do. All directions seem darkened. I can’t see where to go. My limbs have gone limp, my mouth is dry and my brain is not working. The situation is compressing on me and I have gone mad with indecision.”
“This is supposed to be Arjun’s condition and these will be his sentences.”
  “But that is tomorrow. This is my condition now.”
“You have become, what wise people say, ‘Kim-Kartavya-Moodh’. This is also known as ‘Pulp-Brain-Limp-Limb Syndrome’, or simply, ‘Stress Syndrome’.”
“But what can I do? Please help me.” And Krishna started crying.
“Calm down. Are you tense because you are a charioteer?”
“Not at all. Really, there is nothing to do for me. Except, of course, to save my life during war. But, ethically, it is prohibited to kill a charioteer. But you know, nowadays, who cares for ethics? … But, there is enough protection. And the horses are also the best.”
“Are they tense?”
“Not at all. And why should they? They are well trained and well prepared. … and I had made it a point so send them to your ‘Stress-Tension Management Courses’. They have completed ‘Advanced Course’.”
“Hmm! … by any chance are they tense because you are the charioteer?”
“Now come on. … But they know their job. And they will do it properly, no matter who is the charioteer. Any Tom, Dick or Harry will do.”
Is Hanuman under tension?”
What?”
of falling down from the Flag? Because of your ‘chariot driving skills’?”
Oh! You are impossible!”
I am just considering all possibilities.”
From birth he is used to sitting at the ends of tree-branches.”
 “Then what is the problem?”
“Tomorrow, the moment we will reach the battlefield, Arjun will be confronted with the situation of War, he will also become ‘Kin-Kartavya-Moodh’, or will suffer from, what did you say, ‘Pulp-Brain-Limp-Limb Syndrome’.”
“Everybody does, with the situation of War.”
“And war with his own relatives, own people, at that.”
“Theoretically, every war is against our own people.”
“Oh! Theoretically!! Theoretically, Life is war against life. You know the famous line, ‘Jeevo jeevasya jeevanam’. No!!! Theory or Philosophical thinking is not going to help me on the battlefield.”
“OK. But why are you anticipating the bad things? Think Positive.”
“No.”
“Why? It is possible, Arjun may not react the way you think.”
“No.”
“Oh! He will see all those ‘relatives and own people’ who have always tried to trouble him, denied him his rights, tried to disgrace Draupadi, made his life miserable and even tried to kill him. And he will see that this is, at last, his last chance to take his revenge.”
“No.”
“The anger will surge in his mind,”
“No.”
“His chest will swell, the muscles in his arms and legs will twitch with anticipation,”
“No.”
“And he will blow his famous ‘Panchajanya’.”
“No.”
“Yes! And You will not be confronted with the situation to counsel him.”
“No! No!! No!!! He WILL suffer from ‘Pulp-Brain-Limp-Limb Syndrome’. I am certain of that, from what I know of Arjun, and I know him pretty long. He will not bear the thought of war.”
“Why, is he not the best, well trained and well prepared? Like the horses?”
“Yes. But there is a difference. After all, horses are horses and man is man. And, no hard feelings, but it seems, your courses on Stress-tension management are not as effective on men as on horses.” 
“Will he be tense because you are the charioteer? No hard feelings, again …”
“He shouldn’t be. … After all he chose me. My problem is, what am I going to tell him?”
“Tell him, now that these people are standing in front of him, instead of standing besides him, and armed at that, with the intention of war, they are not his own people.” 
“I will try.”
“And if he will not kill them they will definitely kill him.”
“I will try.”
“Don’t try, do it!”
“Oh…! My problem is, how am I going to tell him? When I myself feel the same way.”
“Come on. Think Positive. Be positive! Oh! But why am I telling you all this? You just have to recite the Geeta. That’s why you have CREATED it. YOU have created it. And with lots of pains, I know. And you were learning it by heart and rehearsing it all these days. Just for this day. And The Day has arrived.”
“Oh! But that is true for Arjun also. Still he needs ME to recite Geeta. This huge responsibility is crushing me. I am Lord Krishna, The Creator. I have created The Geeta, for all Arjunas in the world, in similar situations. But who will recite Geeta for me? I don’t feel convinced and confident enough. Then how can I advise him?”
“Oh… but, it doesn’t matter how you feel. You are the counselor. You sit behind a table and don’t let him see your trembling legs. …the way I am doing just now.”
“That exactly is the problem. There is no table with long tablecloth on the battlefield.”
“Oh… that really is a problem. … let me think…”
“Don’t think, tell me.”
“Yes! You will be on the vast expense of Kurukshetra. And midway between two armies. So nobody will know what is happening. Arjun will dismount the chariot and will be on the ground on his knees and looking up at you so there is no question of him seeing your trembling legs. And as such he will not be in a condition to see such things. … and no table, yes, but you have the advantage to wearing Peetambar that will hide your trembling legs … then you will take your famous position besides the chariot with right finger raised ,holding Sudarshan Chakra. Only with some modification. With your third and forth hands hold the chariot firmly to prevent you from falling … then take five long and deep breaths and then start reciting Geeta …” 
“Yes … but … And if I go dumb and forget the Geeta?”
“Oh! Questions and Questions. … As such nobody will hear what you are telling Arjun. So you just start telling anything to boost up your confidence and then tell him whatever comes to your mind, just to boost his confidence. Tell him I will give you a lollipop if you get up and start fighting … or … I will give you this ice cream after war. You will have to fight and finish the war early enough to eat it before melting or … Afterwards – after the war, of course – you can add, refine, rewrite and edit the philosophical thesis, popularly known as ‘Geeta’, as many timers as you wish, till it goes to press.”
“Oh! Dr. Prabhune. Thank You Very Much. YOU have saved me.”
“Afterwards.”
“What?”
“The thanks-giving program!”  
“Oh! OK. But thanks again. What can I do for you?”
“Afterwards. After the war. Just give me a copy of the Geeta. I will go through it and try to organize my pulp-brain and steady my galloping heart and trembling legs.”


- - -     * * *     - - -     * * *     - - -

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Why this, in my fate?




Hi, boys and girls,
I ‘m singing a song,
                                                            (दुसरा काही उद्योग नाही काय रे?)
Why this, Why this, Why I’m listening Dis?
Why this, Why this, Why I’m listening Dis?
                                                            (Rhythm correct?)
                                                            (Correct. But is this a song?)
Poem-u lyric-u trash-u trash-u
Music-u bad-u bad-u … … …
(really bad music yaar)
Then Why this, …
                                                (Maintain this bad music)
Drilling-u hammering-u मेरा head-di

Tune-u ghissi – a – pitti – a tune-u
Theme-u ol’ .. n Song-u Flopp-u
                                                            (as it is said, and rightly said)
Why this, Why mere नशिबात देवा Dis?    

Brain-u smashing – a – mashing – a – frying  
फिर भी listening-u torture-u – self-u
            Why --- --- why --- --- why --- Daka Dhaka Dhis!

Ka Ka Ku Koooo, Ki Kee Ke Kaeeee,
त्याने काऽऽस्वाशी पैज लाविलीऽऽ
Ko Kau Kam Kaha, Ko Kau Kam काऽ ही
शर्यत रे ऽऽ अपुली ऽऽ  --- --- --- हा हा हा हा!

Why this, why … … … --- --- --- … … … ing this?

But why I’m writing-u this-u this-u
Wasting-u time-u time-u … … …
Why this, Why this, Why I’m listening Dis?
Why this, Why this, Why people r listening this?

Friday, September 23, 2011

Man and a sparrow named “chioo”: 6


Man and a sparrow named “chioo”: 6


There was a man. But now there was no Chioo.
And how would she be? There were no trees, not even bushes, in the courtyard. In fact there was no courtyard. Only few unhealthy Rose-bushes in the balcony. There were no photo-frames, no vacant-unused places, no storehouses, no gaps under roof in the houses.
There were not even grains in the houses. Only ready to use Atta packets Roti packets or bread/Pizza from the malls.
Crows were somehow surviving. But where were Raghus (Parrots), Mainas, Bulbuls? And where were Cunning Fox, Wicked Wolf, Brave Waghoba (Tigars) and King of the Jungle – Lion? But there were no Jungles.

There was a man. He was grandfather now. Sitting on a chair in front of TV or Computer screen, while feeding noodles or cornflakes to his granddaughter, he would tell her the stories of Chioo-Kau, and Raghu-Maina. At first she used to listen. One day she asked, “what is Chioo?” He tried to explain, then showed her animated cartoons on internet. Then she asked, “where is Chioo?” from that day he stopped telling her stories.
She didn’t asked, but how on earth could he possibly answer the question of irresponsibilities and sins done for many generations?

Now he tells her the stories of Tiger-man, Falcon-man, Frog-man, Whale-man and Werewolf or reads her their comics. Or tries to make her laugh with the … of Heman-Superman or Zobot-Tobot-Robot. If nothing else, there are lots of cartoon networks.

There was a man. But he was alone in deserted world.
Once he was Omnivorous. Now He was Omnipotent and Omniscient God of Nothing.
Or, was he there in his own creation of Nothingness?            

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Man and a sparrow named “chioo”: 5

Man and a sparrow named “chioo”: 5

There was the man and the “chioo”.
Suddenly she disappeared. No “bhurrrrrr-bhurrrrrr” around, no “chioo-chioo” in the courtyard. No straws scattered in the rooms, in fact there is no place in the rooms to build a nest. On the walls, there are even no frames of photos of grandpas and grandmas and pictures of gods and goddesses.
There is no chioo to show to the baby while telling him the old, now irrelevant, story of “chioo and kaoo”.
She was a part of his life and she disappeared as if sliced off from his existence.
How did it happen, and when, and why?
They were self-dependent and free birds, un-disturbing, living by themselves. Why did man touch them?
Did he really know nothing or was he ignorant?
Was he imbecile enough to understand nothing or was he indifferent enough to refuse to understand?
Or was he selfish enough to pretend that he knew nothing?

There was a man. --- But now there was no chioo. 


Sunday, September 18, 2011

Man and a sparrow named “chioo”: 4


Man and a sparrow named “chioo”.


There was He and there was She. He chioo and She chioo.
He said, we will build a nest. She asked, Why?  He said, I don’t know. I feel like it … and I thought you will like to … She said, okay, yes, I will like to.

He brought one straw. She brought another straw. He said, you are tired, I will bring the straws.  She said, you are tired, I will build the nest. Then together they built a nest-home.

Then He brought one grain. She brought another grain. Then “bhurrrrrr”, he went and drank some water. She also went and drank some water. Then both brought one more grain each. They said, these are for our babies.

Then came the little baby Chioo in the nest. Days became small and “bhurrrrrr” they passed while bringing grains for her and taking care of her. She got little wings and she used to fly around, always twittering. The nest was always filled with her existence. Full to the brim with happiness. The home was home because of her. It existed and had meaning because of her. He and She didn’t realized how fast the days passed.

Baby chioo grew and her wings grew. The nest became insufficient and the piece of sky around the nest became small for her. When she found her He Chioo she flew away with him in their unlimited sky.  

Heart throbbed with concern and joy when she was in the nest and while she was learning to fly. And then there were tears of happiness of fulfillment and pain of parting when she flew away … .

Now again, only He and She remained in the nest. Once in a while He would say ‘Chiu-Chiu’ and She would say ‘Chiu’. Then sometimes She would say ‘Chiu-Chiu’ and He would say ‘Chiu’.

Then, sometimes, baby Chioo (now she was also a grown-up) would call over the wind. While she was on air the nest was full of her continuous twittering, as if she was flying around. Then there were only memories.

Still, as usual, reminding all these past things, the real sparrow “chioo” was twittering “chioo-chioo” and was flying ‘bhurrrrrr’ around. Her existence was a matter of fact. She was so familiar, that she was a part of his life.
But he didn’t know that. He still could understand nothing really.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Man and a sparrow named “chioo”: 3


Man and a sparrow named “chioo”: 3
There was the man and the sparrow named “chioo”.
She met him again in the college. A girl with dancing eyes and flying mind. Always twittering and bubbling with enthusiasm.
She sparrow “chioo” in the story of “He-chioo and She-chioo”. And was he the He-chioo? Wandering around, trying to attract her? Would they build a nest-home together?
Thus he felt. Did she feel the same?
He didn’t know that. Such thoughts had never come to his mind before. Such intensity of feeling, such longing, such anticipation and hope. … And such apprehension and unknown fear.  
He knew nothing really at that time.

There was He and there was She.
Was she Chioo?
Chioo; who would clean and feed; would protect and take care of the baby and would help the baby to develop. Who would keep the house and make it a home and take care of everything.
And was he “Kaoo”?
Kaoo; who would be a vagabond, wandering here and there, doing nothing; coming and going at odd times; thoroughly irresponsible; always demanding; voracious eater with unhealthy habits; shitting at odd places and spreading filth everywhere.
Why they got together and got involved? But it’s like that, most of the times.
This he didn’t know. He knew nothing really.
But the story should not be like that. That’s what he felt.